- I used to be a plastic surgeon, which raised a few eyebrows.
- I’d like to dedicate this to my father, who was a roofer. So Dad, if you’re up there…
- Through no fault of his own my uncle crashed his car into a lemon tree. He is still bitter and twisted.
- We have a little girl who we named after my mom. In fact Passive Agressive Psycho turns 5 tomorrow.
- At school the other kids used to push me around and call me lazy. I loved that wheelchair.
- So what if I can’t spell armaggedon. It’s not the end of the world.
- I was standing in the park thinking why does a frisby appear larger the closer it gets, and then it hit me.
- Is my wife dissatisfied with my body? A tiny part of me says yes.
- You know who give kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.
- I am the youngest of three. Both my parents are older.
- My wife and I have decided we don’t want children. If anybody does, we can drop them off tomorrow.
Stewart Francis Jokes
Stewart Francis is a Canadian stand-up comedian, actor and writer. In addition to his work in Canada and the USA, he frequently tours in the UK and appears on British television. Both of Francis’ parents are British.