Inside No. 9 competition. We had loads of entries and below are our 4 favourites. They all win a DVD or poster!
“Get your creative juices flowing! Do you have an idea for a 30 minute story set in the world of Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton’s world of Inside No. 9? If you have any humorous, clever or dark stories (with a twist in the end if you’d like!).
Here’s some key points to include:
• Setting / Room (with 9 on it)
• Era / Theme
• Start / Middle / End
• Characters / Cast
• Funny moments / Jokes
• Dark sub plots / Moments
• Possible twist
Let us know in a few paragraphs of the plot of your story, some key moments and which actors are playing who (remember you have free reign).
If writing isn’t your strong point, mock up a story-board or a poster with a few lines below it describing the plot!”
Perfect Life by Emily Briddon
This is an idea I came up with for my current media course. We had to plan out the whole film and produce a script and storyboard for it.
Location: A normal house with a path leading up to it. Number 9 (obviously)
Beginning: photographs on a mantelpiece showing various competitions and getting promoted at work. The camera could dip in and out of the photos and they could come to life. They could all look the same (have them shaking hands in every photo) and show the same person (Frank) at various ages. He has a perfectly normal life, beautiful wife and does everything that normal people do. When Frank first goes to work he notices that time moves extremely quickly.
Middle: Things start to go wrong. On his way home from work he picks a flower and it wilts in his hand. The TV in his house turns black and white. His wife could always bring him back to realist by calling his name or taking his attention away.
End: he goes for a walk but when he looks behind him he notices that world is turning to black and white. You could do an epic tracking shot starting at his feet and ending at his head showing all of the colour fading from his body. Then he looks down at his hands to show them also loosing colour. The final shot should start at his hands then slowly zoom out to reveal the reality that he is homeless. Police sirens are heard going past then the screen goes black.
Characters: Frank (described above) I think Reece should play Frank
Millie: His wife. Maybe she could be heard but never seen. Then it adds to the fact that he made it all up but she could be seen in a wedding photo at the start. Steve could voice Millie.
Jokes: I haven’t really got any ideas for jokes but it could either be a really dark episode or you can come up with the jokes because your the funny one’s not me.
Peter’s World of Pets by Joanne Howe
The setting is a pet shop. There would be a cast of just three characters: the pet shop owner, his new Saturday assistant, and some random bloke who’s popped in for a bag of millet for his budgie. I’d cast Reece as the pet shop owner, and Steve as the customer. Not sure who’d play the Saturday assistant. Some talented young star of the future!
It starts with the owner showing his new assistant round the shop and getting more and more annoyed by how clueless the youth seems to be. By the end he’s just making up rubbish about the animals, and the boy is swallowing everything hook, line and sinker. When they come to cage no. 9 – a large tank covered in a blanket – the owner declares that this is where the Uruguayan Werewolf Spider lives. He warns his assistant that he must take special care not to disturb this cage because the Werewolf Spider is extremely dangerous. Its venom causes hallucinations, madness, paralysis and death. Any light, noise or movement enrages it. It can jump to incredible heights, and it stalks its prey (which can be anything up to 50 times its size) by creeping up behind them and then fastening its razor-sharp mandibles in the back of the head. Key detail: it is irresistibly attracted to the scent of blood.
Having given his new employee this 101, the owner announces that he needs to pop out for a bit to pick up some dry cleaning. He asks the Saturday assistant to hold the fort while he’s gone. (Solitary customer makes his entrance at this point). Before long curiosity has got the better of the assistant and he is lifting up the blanket covering cage no. 9 and taking a peek. To his horror, the cage is empty! The door has come off its latch and is dangling open! The Uruguayan Werewolf Spider must have escaped and be somewhere loose in the shop!
I think you could have lots of fun with the mounting hysteria as the Saturday assistant and the customer struggle to find the spider. They can’t open the front door in case the Spider gets away so they’re essentially trapped in a confined space with a lethal animal. By the end things are so out of control that the Saturday assistant stabs the customer in order to use his blood as a decoy (the spider is attracted to blood).
It is at this point that the shop owner suddenly returns and reveals that there was never a Uruguayan Werewolf Spider in the first place. Cage no. 9 was just an empty, broken cage. He made the whole thing up.
If you wanted, you could have a final twist where the return of the shop owner and his revelation that the Werewolf Spider was a joke was actually an hallucination experienced by the Saturday assistant as he lies dying on the floor from the Werewolf Spider’s bite.
Title: Red Carpet by Anonymous
It’s raining and the camera pan up from a take-away chinese with a TV changing channel from X Factor to the voice to shots of celebrities (Z-list) on red carpets, then it pans up and through a window to reveal to a tiny untidy flat (number 9). Rejection letters of work can be half seen but are not fully readable. It begins with someone facing a computer tinkering with an object with a screw driver. Reece plays the character in the flat, a skin head and very gaunt (if possible). The room is a complete mess, take-away boxes / mess everywhere along various cables and suspicious parts. A smaller TV has the same red carpet event but no sound, interviews and such appearing on the screen.
The whole middle section is several flashbacks to Reece talking to his mother via Skype about failed auditions and not getting work as an actor. The key is he is good but just unlucky and picky about roles. More Skype calls to his friends and family about the same thing. He goes through a break up and his physical look gets worse and worse. This can all be padded out easily. He gets a job as an engineer but also makes friend with someone online. They talk via skype and messaging but the conversation takes place in his room. Face to face. His friend (Pemberton) convinces him he should teach them a lesson with revenge and plant explosives. Pemberton helps him with supplies and where to plant them for the upcoming BAFTA (or other red carpet event).
Flashback over and returns to night but BEFORE the start. It’s just starting to rain and he gets a phone call from his girlfriend saying she wants to try again she found out he got a job and was trying hard again. This makes him change his mind about the bombs and panics. Then we cut to NOW and….
He is trying to disarm the bomb however he is unable to. He flicks the switch, it goes red and turns to the screen. There is a few seconds delay and he sighs as he thinks he’s done it. The screen goes black and you hear an explosion along with a police report of how Reece’s character had been an employee and had planted explosives and killed everyone at the award ceremony. The ironic twist he’s become infamous rather than famous.
Not Fair by Melody J. Sproates
Sprinting as fast as her legs can take her, the young college student, Lucy (Melody Sproates), bounds up the street. After nearly loosing all hope, the vehicle pulls over, and the doors of the No 9 bus open. She scrambles on board.
Giving her money to the spritely driver; Lee (Reece Shearsmith), and shooting a smile to the jolly conductor; Chris (Steve Pemberton), Lucy searches the pact bus for an empty seat. She tries, she really does,but it is impossible to ignore everyone. She takes a seat by the window but realises it’s highly likely someone old or smelly (or both) will plonk themselves beside her, making the next 30 minutes of her life absolute hell. Relaxation is useless, as she’s probably already contracted at
least sixty different viruses just by touching the handrail.
A late 40 year old jumper-clad and greasy haired man (Julian Barratt) catches Lucy’s attention. It’s hard not to really, as he keeps scratching his head every two seconds. Her eyes follow the masses of tiny white flakes that fall from his greasy locks into her airways. She tries to blow it away. Lucy looks up and takes in the appearance of the tall Business man (Greg Davies) who is facing her. He repeatedly says “hello”. This confuses Lucy as she has no idea who he is, but she replies “hi” to be polite. He shoots her a dirty look and turns the other way, which is when Lucy realises he is wearing a Bluetooth
earpiece. Her cheeks flush with embarrassment. A rustling sound begins beside her. It’s a rather large and obnoxious woman (Jessica Hynes) ripping open a packet of monster munch and mashing them with her teeth. Lucy begins to wonder if she can take much more. However on a second glance, she then realises that the woman is actually pregnant. A simple misjudgement.
After some time the bus begins to slow and rolls to a halt. Everyone looks confused. Lee gets out of his seat and announces the horror; “Its broken down, sorry.” Lucy peers out of the window and sees nothing but a farmer’s field and an empty road. They’re stranded. Her fellow passengers let out their frustrations whilst Chris, quite over enthusiastically tries
to calm everyone; “Okay how about we have a sing along? Who do we all like?”. The passengers do not reply. “Oh c’mon…I suppose we all love… The Beatles!”. Much to everyone’s annoyance, he begins a joyful chorus of ‘Here comes the sun’. Lucy tries to block it out.
Meanwhile, Lee angrily hammers the faulty emergency exit button, but to no avail. He curses at it and leans in further. The second he raises his head the doors fling open and closed again, impacting against his skull. The passengers scream. Chris, mid-song, runs over to his side but the damage is already done. A light trickle of blood runs down the body’s head. Chris drags the body into a seat, the passengers now in hysterics. Someone yells “now what are we supposed to do? We have no driver!” and another; “I have no signal to ring for help!” and another; “We’re stranded.”
Amongst the chaos and panic, Lucy catches sight of the Business man once more, his face a bright crimson colour. He furiously exclaims out loud “This delay is costing me my job!”, and he storms toward the exit. Chris however, refuses to let him exit, deeming the door unsafe. The Business man, frustrated beyond sense, becomes hostile and throws a punch at Chris. The two of them begin to fight. Lucy becomes panicked and looks around to the pregnant lady, who’s tightly grasping the seat in front of her. She screams at the poor soul beside her “My waters just broke!”.
Amongst the insanity (and the crying of the greasy haired man in front of her) Lucy hears her phone ring. Struggling to hear amongst the chaos, she moves to a quieter area of the bus. She recognises the voice of her friend, asking; “Where are you?!”. Lucy, almost shouting, replies “I’ve just gotten a signal, the bus broke down. I Was running late and missed the first one, so I got on the No 9.”
“The No 9? Are you having a laugh?”
“The No 9 doesn’t run anymore, it went out of service months ago.”
Lucy’s heart sinks. “What?”.
“Do you not remember it in the papers? The driver got fired as he kept
taking the wrong route, and they just didn’t start it back up again.
Not fair is it really?”.
Lucy does not reply. Her mouth turns dry and fear burns in her skin.
After having glanced at the reflection in the window beside her, it
only took her a second to realise that the figure hunched over next to
her was the driver’s body. It’s eyes now wide open.
(Credits roll and the song ‘Lucy in the sky with diamonds‘ plays.)