- It’s good they’re holding the Olympics in the East End of London. Means the athletes will have to use extra skill to work out which gunshot is the starting pistol.
- They’ve bought out a condom now for people with premature ejaculation and they’ve put an anesthetic in the lining that makes you numb and you can last for longer. Or, you can wear it inside out and you don’t have to wake anybody up!
- They say that the Olympics is going to rekindle English national pride. I mean, for £9.2 billion they could have written “Fuck off Germany” onto the moon.
- Barack Obama will appeal to both black and white voters in America. White voters who’ll think he’s Tiger Woods.
- Venus Williams has brought something different to the women’s game – male genitalia
- Having a gang-bang in Scotland in the winter is like playing Pass The Parcel: there’s that many layers!
- Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot but look at him now! Alcoholic and a racist!
- There is a vegetarian option. You can fuck off.
- You’re so pale you could get sunburn from a crescent moon
- When I said I was a positive person, I meant HIV
Frankie Boyle quotes
