Frank Carson Jokes

Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?
I don’t think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn’t get burnt.
I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.
A man walks into a hospital feeling unwell and the doctor says: “Sorry, you’ve only got three minutes to live.” The man said: “Can you do something for me?” “Yes,” he said. “I’ll boil you an egg.”
My uncle Jimmy took liver salts twice a day for 40 years. He died on Sunday, was buried Wednesday and the following Friday they had to go to the cemetery to beat his liver to death with a stick.
A man goes into Boots and says: “Have you got any Viagra?” “Do you have a prescription?” asks the chemist. “No,” he replies, “But ‘I’ve got a photograph of the wife.”
My wife said to me: “If you won the lottery, would you still love me?” I said: “Of course I would. I’d miss you, but I’d still love you.”
My wife went into the butchers and said: “You’ve a sheep’s head in your window.” The butcher said: “That’s a mirror.”
I come from a family of musicians. Even the sewing machine is a Singer.
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says: “Is this some kind of a joke?”

Pages: 1 2