The Young Ones Quotes

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  • TV detector man: Where’s your toilet?
    Neil: Oh, upstairs. Just follow your nose.
  • Rick: I notice you haven’t written the call down in the book, Mike. That’s very interesting, isn’t it? I mean, we’ve got this book here to write down all the calls we make in. I suppose you forgot, did you? Well, I wonder how many other times you conveniently forgot?
    Mike: Rick, what are you talking about? This is a pay phone.
  • Mike: What’s two foot long with a big round head?
    Helen: Don’t know.
    Mike: No, nor do I, but I keep finding it in my cornflakes…
  • Neil: Oh yeah, that’s a good idea isn’t it? Yeah – let’s all bring Neil down. That’ll relieve the boredom.
    Vyvyan: Will it? OK – er, shut up Neil you ugly poo-faced git!
  • Fisher: Next Tuesday, right, I’m going to blow up a panda in Croydon.
    Rick: Yeah, right on. Bloody zoos, who needs them?
  • Does anybody know where the toilets are?
  • Rik: Okay Vivyan, I AM a virgin
    ViVyan (with a Howitzer) Not for long matey
  • Vyvian: “Mike”
    Mike: “Careful Vyv, don’t broadcast the handle”
    Vyvian: “Err……Andrea ?”
    Mike: “Yes, Viv ?”
  • Aahhh the old trick ehh, eat the tele before I get a chance to nick you
  • Oh, well, there’s gratitude for you! It’s me who’s going to have snotty undies for the next two terms, Neil. It’s me they’re going to be calling “Bogey Bum”. Especially at the next Friends of Stalin Society “Show Your Bottom” competition.

The Young Ones Quotes