• Neil: He rubbed my legs
• Jay: That’s what you get for leading on Peados you slut!
• Jay: She’s probably just got an old face, must be cos of all the jizz she’s had on it
• Will: I went to fart and instead, shit myself
• Jay: I’d fuck her, right up the bum hole.
  Will: Lucky girl.
• Jay: At least they wont call you briefcase mong anymore
  Will: Oh well that’s good
  Jay: No, they’ll call you shit pants mong
  Neil: Or Shitty Shitty Bang Bang
  Will: Any more?
  Simon: Wayne Pooney, Take Shat
  Neil: Dr Poo
  Jay: The Lion the Witch and the speccy kid who shit himself
  Simon: We can keep this up all summer you know
  Will: Brilliant looking forward to it
  Simon: Brad Shit
  Jay: Bumlog Millionaire
  Will: Alright!
  Simon: How about Vladimir Pootin
  Neil: Who?
•  Bit over dramatic, it’s only a bollock
• You’re just like your mum in the cock department, she ain’t got one either
• You better bring your wellies, because you’ll be knee-deep in clunge.
• So smelling like an industrial accident in a Lynx factory and looking like the world’s shittest boyband, we hit the town.
• I like football, but I don’t like Burnley. Burnley can f*ck off.

The Inbetweeners Quotes