• Neil: He rubbed my legs
  • Jay: That’s what you get for leading on Peados you slut!
  • Jay: She’s probably just got an old face, must be cos of all the jizz she’s had on it
  • Will: I went to fart and instead, shit myself
  • Jay: I’d fuck her, right up the bum hole.
    Will: Lucky girl.
  • Jay: At least they wont call you briefcase mong anymore
    Will: Oh well that’s good
    Jay: No, they’ll call you shit pants mong
    Neil: Or Shitty Shitty Bang Bang
    Will: Any more?
    Simon: Wayne Pooney, Take Shat
    Neil: Dr Poo
    Jay: The Lion the Witch and the speccy kid who shit himself
    Simon: We can keep this up all summer you know
    Will: Brilliant looking forward to it
    Simon: Brad Shit
    Jay: Bumlog Millionaire
    Will: Alright!
    Simon: How about Vladimir Pootin
    Neil: Who?
  •  Bit over dramatic, it’s only a bollock
  • You’re just like your mum in the cock department, she ain’t got one either
  • You better bring your wellies, because you’ll be knee-deep in clunge.
  • So smelling like an industrial accident in a Lynx factory and looking like the world’s shittest boyband, we hit the town.
  • I like football, but I don’t like Burnley. Burnley can f*ck off.

The Inbetweeners Quotes