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    The best Heckler Comebacks

    Bo Burnham Heckled

    • “Ah, I remember my first beer.” – Steve Martin
    • Well, it’s a night out for him, isn’t it? And for his family it’s a night off.” – Jack Dee
    • “You might heckle me now – but when I get home, I’ve got a chicken in the oven.” – Harry Hill
    • “What’s that? You want to know where I got my boots?” They’re from You Can’t Afford Them And Stop Talking To Me.” – Amy Schumer
    • “Rugby – a game for men with no fear of head injuries. And with no reason to fear them.” – Linda Smith
    • [To a heckler who shouted: “Tell us a joke.”] “Your mum fell into some cheese sandwiches, and she got covered in cheese. Absolutely covered in it. She stank of cheese. And hundreds and hundreds of mice came from miles around, drawn to her by the smell of cheese. She was covered in mice. Overcome by them. But she was glad of the company, because YOU NEVER CALL.” – Dan Antopolski
    • “Just because you’re drunk doesn’t mean you’re crazy. It just means you have no self-control.” – Harry Terjanian
    • “You’re the worst thing that ever happened to America. Seriously. It goes: you, slavery, and then Pearl Harbour and 9/11 combined. So as an American, I feel it’s my duty to make you feel poorly.” – Louis C.K.
    • [To a heckler who shouted: “You’re ugly.”] “And yet your missus still prefers me to you.” – Jim Smallman
    • “Did your mother never tell you not to drink on an empty head?” – Billy Connolly
    • [Mimicking the thoughts of the heckler] “You know what I’m going to do tonight? I’m going to heckle an 18-year-old kid who’s following his f***king dreams.” – Bo Burnham
    • “Is this the part where you think this is just a conversation between the two of us?” – T.J. Miller
    • “Sit back in your chair and I’ll plug it in.” – Jasper Carrott
    • “Look, it’s all right to donate your brain to science but shouldn’t you have waited till you died?” – Arthur Smith
    • “If you ARE going to heckle, try and wait for there to be a gap when I’m not speaking, so people can hear what you’re saying… So if you’re going to come and heckle, at least come prepared. Don’t get so pissed you can’t think, that’s the first rule of heckling. The second rule: maybe your own amplification system of some kind.” – Richard Herring
    • “All men are pigs. Especially you, sir. Unfortunately, I can’t eat pork.” – Shazia Mirza
    • “I want you to go find a f**king soul.” – Bill Hicks
    • [To a heckler who said: “I met you at medical school.”] “Ah, yes. You were the one in the jar.” – Frank Skinner

    The best Heckler Comebacks

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