• In the Bible, God made it rain for 40 days and 40 nights. That’s a pretty good summer for us in Wales. That’s a hosepipe ban waiting to happen. I was eight before I realised you could take a kagoule off
  • A spa hotel? It’s like a normal hotel, only in reception there’s a picture of a pebble.
  • When I was in prison I played football for the stalkers. When one of us would go for the ball, we’d all go. There was no one looking for space.
  • I had to move in with my girlfriend… It was very successful and we lived very happily in domestic bliss and harmony… for 13 days.
  • I flew to Ireland once… I’m Welsh I brought shorts, t shirts, sunglasses, they don’t even sell them in Wales I had to go to Bristol to buy them!
  • How tight is this? One year my parents got me Hide and Seek for Christmas.
  • (On his experience in an anger management group) Imagine being in a room filled with losers.
  • Last year I punched a shop-assistant over the duvet tog-rating system and went berserk over a mince pie. I am stung by accusations that I over-react.
  • I asked the shop assistant what filling I should have in the duvet. She said: ‘Get down.’ So I hit the f***ing deck.

Rhod Gilbert Jokes

Rhodri “Rhod” Paul Gilbert is a Welsh comedian who was nominated in 2005 for the Perrier Best Newcomer Award. In 2008, he was nominated for the main if.comedy.