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Father Ted Quotes

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Father Ted Quotes

  • Go away! I don’t want to catch menopause!
  • DON’T TELL ME I’M STILL ON THAT FECKIN’ ISLAND!!!
  • Feck! Nuns! Reverse! Reverse!
  • I love my brick!
  • (judging a Wet T-shirt competition) More Water!
  • ARSEBISCUITS!
  • A PAIR OF FECKIN’ WOMEN’S KNICKERS!
  • I’m a happy camper!
  • Pat was just wondering if he could put his massive tool in my box.
  • I’m so excited. Taking on three bishops all at once. I can’t wait.
  • Won’t you have some cake, Father? It’s got cocaine in it. Oh no, hang on, it’s not cocaine, is it. What do I mean now? – the little things… Raisins!
  • Oh she writes such filth, Father. It’s always “Feck this” and “Feck that” – and sometimes she even uses the “F” word!
  • (to Richard Wilson) I don’t beleeeeeeeeeve it!
  • What am I doing on the fecking wheel!!!
  • Now concentrate this time, Dougal. These (pointing to plastic cows on table) are very small; those (pointing out of the window) are far away…

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Father Ted Quotes