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Blackadder Quotes

Buy Blackadder Remastered – The Ultimate Edition [DVD] [1982]

Blackadder

  • “You don’t look like Charlie Chaplin, Baldric. You don’t have a moustache.” “No, Sir. But I have this – a dead slug.”
  • Baldric, go forth into the streets and announce that Lord Blackadder wishes to sell his house. Percy, just go forth into the streets.”
  • “So you don’t know the way to France either – bugger.”
  • “My Lord, I have a cunning plan.”
  • “I think I’ll write my tombstone – Here lies Edmund Blackadder, and he’s bloody annoyed.”
  • If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do ?” “Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area.”
  • “I’m as excited as a terribly excited person who has a really good reason for being terribly excited.”
  • “I want my mother.” “Ah, yes. A maternally crazed gorilla would come in handy at this very moment.”
  • “Have you ever visited Planet Earth ?”
  • “Well cover me in egg and flour and bake me for 14 minutes!”
  • “Everything is still the same. Lord Percy is still unemployed, your animal is still not housetrained, and nursie here is still a few sticks short of a bundle.”
  • “I’m afraid that might not be far enough. Apparently the head Mongol and the Duke are good friends. They were at Eton together.”
  • “We’re your firing squad.”
  • I wish to send some party invitations. In order to make them look particularly fierce, I wish to sign them in blood. Your blood, to be precise.” “Ah, I see. Will you be requiring me to cut off an arm or a leg?” “Good lord, no! A little prick will do.”
  • Who me sir ? Mr. thickie Black thickie Adder thickie ? Mr. hopelessly dribbly, can’t write for toffee, crappy butler weed ? Mr. extremely under-valued butler who hasn’t had a raise in a fortnight.”
  • “I’m as bored as a pacifist pistol.”
  • “Oooh dear, Richard the Third…”
  • As cunning as a fox who’s just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University?

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Blackadder is the name that encompassed four series of a BBC 1 period British sitcom, along with several one-off instalments.

Blackadder Quotes