Alrite, I’m Karl Pilkington. Ask me anything.


Karl Pilkington


{Via Reddit}


Hi, Karl! Are there any people with any physical deformities that you have discovered recently that has caught your attention, since you are into that kind of stuff? (eg, two headed man, three legged juggler…)

Just that story about the fella who’s gonna have his head put on a different body. Full respect if the surgeon pulls that one off. I’m chuffed if I manage to poach an egg without breaking it.

Hello Karl, was filming An Idiot Abroad worth it?

I have a lot of memories from those trips and that’s what life is about innit. So yeh I suppose it was. Never will like the title though.


Most memorable moments for you on XFM?

Probably almost choking to death when I was having grapes shoved into my mouth to see how many I could fit in. I don’t think Terry Wogan ever got to do that.


What life lesson have you learnt that everyone should know?

If you put your finger in and out of your ear it makes the sound that Pac Man makes when he’s eating.


Alrite Karl, you’ve written a lot of books now, have you found its got any easier? How do you keep coming up with ideas?

No it’s got harder. This last one was a right pain. I never know if I’ve written about a thing before or if it’s a thought that my brain had just come up with.


Any tips on keeping a happy relationship?

Work away a lot.


In a age where literally everyone has a camera in their phones, how is it possible that no one has ever gotten a definitive picture of Suzanne out in public with you somewhere? Not saying she doesn’t exist; it is just remarkable that not one picture has surfaced in 15 years.

No one wants her picture.


Hi karl! Huge fan of everything from xfm to books to moaning of life. When are you gonna make a nature and animal based program? Youve said before youd love to do the attenborough thing, and all your fans would really love watching it! Anyways, hope youre well, and please keep giving us your very enlightened view on life 🙂 from ross!

I couldn’t do it. I’d keep stepping in saving animals that are under attack.


What do you think of the immune system?

It still blows my mind.


With the news about the gorilla being shot in the Cincinnati zoo, what is your take on the situation? I miss monkey news.

It annoyed me that. There’s only about 700 gorillas in the world and yet there’s loads of kids.


Considering your assessment of the Alright Wall of China, what would be your pick for the 7 Wonders of the World?

I don’t think there should be any wonders as soon as anything becomes a wonder it tends to get ruined.



Well it was either this or go on Loose Woman.


Do you ever listen back to the old XFM show? They are very popular, how do you feel about people listening to stuff you were talking about 15 years ago when you thought you were broadcasting to a few hundred people?

I don’t get what the fuss was about.


Any future projects you could intrigue us with? Huge fan of An Idiot Abroad, by the way. No matter how many times I watch it, I find myself laughing hysterically. Cheers.

Nowt going on. I’ve only just finished this book so not really had time to think about anything.


Rockbusters thread! So, uh, the Jamaican fella, he’s doing a bit of gardening an’ that but steps on a tool, he steps on a tool and gets hit in the face. What’s that all about?

D-rake. Good one that.


Karl, what are your thoughts on mineral water?

I don’t drink enough of any water. I think the only time I have it is when I’m having headache tablets.


Hey Karl hows it going mate. Just wanted to know what your favourite biscuits are? cheers.

Changes a lot. Going through a ginger crunch phase at the minute.


What’s your opinion on the potential manned mission to Mars in 2024? Is it worth it?

You wouldn’t get me going. Too much of a change for me that one. I can’t handle it when Suzanne buys whole milk instead of semi skinned.


Hi Karl, What’s your favourite story about a monkey?

The one where he worked in a train station. He worked everyday up until he died.


Alrite? Did you ever manage to drool yourself dry?

No. I got bored before I went dry. Tellin ya. I could water the garden with my goz.